The Food Question

I’ve been wrestling for a while with when we should all eat the same thing for dinner every night.  This is a somewhat difficult question in our family anyway, since I’m vegetarian and Lance isn’t; since I’m a “picky” eater, and Lance isn’t; and since I also tend to be dieting endlessly...but for those nights when the two adults are, in fact, eating the same thing, should Judith also be “required” to eat only that? 

Sometime last fall, I instigated “family dinner time” during which we all sit at the table together, and no one leaves until everyone is finish eating (yes, some dinners get very long as we wait for Judith to finish!).  This began as an attempt to change our habit of eating dinner in front of the TV every night, but it also quickly occurred to me that it could be a way to “encourage” Judith to eat what we eat.  That’s easy when we’re having pita pizzas or grilled cheese or quesadillas.  Even make-your-own salad night works, because I can put together a plate of the things she likes out of the salad choices (and she’ll eat just about anything dipped in ranch dressing!).  My dilemma comes on a night like tonight.  Lance and I had beans and rice (a favorite of ours: sautéed mushrooms, garbanzos, kidney beans, black beans, and canned tomatoes, served over brown rice and garnished with sour cream or grated cheese).  Judith had cheese and crackers and a banana.  I’ve never offered her the beans and rice dish, because I know (assume?) she doesn’t like mushrooms or tomatoes (at least she hasn’t yet).  She’s tried a garbanzo bean once or twice, and not minded it, but not asked for more.  So I go the easy route and make her a separate meal (easy in terms of getting her fed, not easier to make). 

And I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do.

At almost-three-and-a-half should she be eating beans and rice?  Should I make the “rule” that she eats what we eat and there’s no other option?  (Then how do I explain that Daddy and Mama don’t eat the same things?)  Or do I continue to do what I’m doing:  serving her what we’re having when I know she’ll like it (pushing the boundaries on occasion) and making a separate meal for her when I know she’ll refuse the adults’ option?

Her “acceptable food” list is pretty varied compared to a lot of the stories I’ve heard:  lots of cheese, whole wheat bread, peanut butter, quesadillas, pizza, macaroni and cheese, just about any fruit, greek-style yogurt, granola, scrambled or hard-boiled eggs, sautéed or grilled chicken, olives, pickles, tuna fish sandwiches, pumpkin soup, tomato soup, french fries, ranch dressing...  (And of course, given my semi-profession, she’s quite adventurous when it comes to dessert. :-) 

On the “don’t like” side she includes most meat (which is pretty understandable given how infrequently we actually have meat in the house), tomatoes, avocado/guacamole, mushrooms, sharp cheeses...  And she will predictably turn up her nose completely at something she hasn’t had before.  We explain frequently that she can’t say she doesn’t like something if she hasn’t tasted it, but she’s unlikely to taste anything on the first try...or even the fifth try.  (In fact, I have really no idea what makes her eventually taste something at all!) 

So I know that the nights she gets served something new she won’t eat dinner.  In theory I know it’s not a horrendous thing for her to miss a meal, but it can be frustrating to “waste” food getting her to try it, enforce “this is your dinner,” and know that she’s still hungry!

So this remains a dilemma.  I am thankful that she eats more than one specific food.  I am thankful that she is healthy.  I am (usually) willing to continue to make her a separate meal several times a week.  So it’ll probably be a while before I come to a decision.

TTFN,

Barbara