By hook and by cook

Here's my weekly (well, it's the first one, but I intend for it to be weekly) update on what I've baked/cooked in the past week, and what I've crocheted.  Where applicable, I'll include links to patterns and recipes, but I'm not going to type out anything that's not already online somewhere (unless specifically requested!).

In the Kitchen this week:
(see Monday's post)
Brownie Cookies
Also known as "deep dark decadence".  They're dark chocolate "brownie" batter, with dark chocolate chips and macadamia nuts.  Needless to say, they're a family favorite.  The recipe's from the Williams Sonoma Cookies book, so I'm not going to list it here. 

Brownie cookies - fresh out of the oven

 "Valentine's Day" meal

We celebrate V-day early, and ate at home to save money.  As shown below, my husband got pan-seared ahi while I had an oven-roasted portabello.  On the side we had apple, walnut, gorgonzola salad with maple-balsamic dressing that I found a recipe for at this blog.  For dessert we had chocolate mousse cups, which I didn't take a picture of because they weren't beautiful.  They were an experiment based on a triple-layer cheesecake that I make - I made a normal chocolate mousse mix, scooped 1/3 of it into the bottom of two dishes, and added increasing amounts of (extra) whipped cream to layers 2 and 3.  They were tasty, but a little grainy...and I didn't add enough cream to layer 2, so there was very little difference from layer 1.  Next time I think I'll just try this recipe that I found on Pinterest.

Valentine's Day dinner

Not much else was cooking last week, but I'm gearing up for Valentine's Day!  This coming week should be busier.

Crochet Projects
Chemo Caps
Two of my friends from church are going through chemo right now, and when I saw this pattern on Pinterest, I was immediately inspired to make them.  The first one (pictured below, stunningly modeled by my daughter) took me much longer than it should have because it took me about five tries to get the band around the hat to be the right size.  When I followed the directions as printed, it kept fanning out exponentially and just wouldn't fit.  I finally followed some directions I found (Pinterest again!) for making a foundation row without using a chain, and then crochet the rest of the band in a smaller hook size.  I made the second hat in red, and it went much more quickly.

chemo cap

Lance's Scarf

Isn't it beautiful?

At Christmas time, when I was making a number of scarves for presents, it occurred to me that my husband might like one!  So I asked - and he said he'd wear one if it wasn't "too phoofy".  So I searched through my pattern books, and through the yarn at the craft store to find some combination that would be both impressive and non-phoofy.  Here's the result.  And I must say (bragging!) that I love it...the pattern (basketweave stitch) and the yarn.  And Lance's does too.  He's actually worn it every day since I gave it to him. 

There was drama though, because I was (proud) enough to want to take a picture to post on Pinterest - and then I somehow forgot to put it away before he came home...and he saw it, and came out the next morning wearing it.  When I burst into tears (it was supposed to be a surprise! and I'd been so careful - I thought - about keeping it hidden), Judith said (in a conciliatory tone) "Daddy, you can't have this now." and took it and "hid" it in her room.  (She and I wrapped it and gave it to him before our Valentine's celebration.)

I'm also continuing to work on my afghan, as well as some secret gift projects that might show up here next week.

The Joy - do I even need to write this?  I love to be in the kitchen, especially when chocolate is involved.  And crochet gives me almost as much joy, especially once the project is done and I can give it to someone and see their joy.  And I took joy, too, in my little girl's efforts at playing peacemaker, even when her mama was irrational.

Joy to you!
Barbara

Minutiae

It's been a few days since I blogged, mostly because nothing momentous has been happening.  So today I'm writing about the simple, "normal" things we did.  There's joy in the small things too.

Playing:
Judith's been all over the map (the map of the universe!) in her playing lately.  It's fun to watch.  Some highlights:

• She's begun to narrate her life in the third person.  For example, she won't say, "I'm going to get out of the car."  She'll say, "And then she said, 'Mama, I'm going to get out of the car.' and her Mama said to her, 'OK, precious.'"  (At which point I am required to say whatever she just narrated me as saying!)  We think this might stem from her recent introduction to the old Rock and Bullwinkle cartoons, which are narrated in classic narrator style.  Wherever it came from, it's quite entertaining, and at least gives us a good idea of what her "preferred reality" is for the moment.
• She's been enjoying the chalk board side of her easel because she can erase the chalk herself.  But instead limiting herself to an eraser, she's discovered that she can erase the chalk with her hands.  The first day she did this, she also experimented with "stamping" chalk handprints all over the furniture!  She was very proud of herself, but I'm afraid I had to veto her re-decorating ideas.  We've since established the guideline that handprints may be stamped only on paper.

chalky hands

• I love that she incorporates the shows that she watches into her own play.  Today, as I worked outside in the yard, she was running around playing "Shaun the Sheep".  She ran in circles "baaing" frequently, and was picking grass for "Shirley" (another sheep from the show).  Now, I know that it's entirely possible that she'd play at being some animal or other even if she hadn't seen some on TV, but the specific things that she remembers and incorporates amaze me.  There's one episode where Shirley (who's the biggest sheep) is put on a diet.  And so Judith was instructing Shirley that she had to wait until all the grass was picked, and that she could only eat what Judith (Shaun) gave her.  Given that there's no talking in the show, I was pretty impressed how she put the action in her own words.  (Yes, I'm biased - but her imagination continues to astound me.)  As a fun side note, she was also noticing that the grass was growing back in places where we'd weeded it out before.  "Mama!  I keep picking and picking, but there's always more grass growing!"  (Umm, yes.  Grass tends to do that.)

Gardening
I spent a good two hours working some of that lovely dirt into more of my garden.  I'm deciding to go all out this year, given that I've got an abundance of extraordinary soil to work with this year.  So I'm not limiting myself to the four raised beds, or even to the beds and the bottom of the terrace this year.  I ripped out an old (huge!) lavender plant, and now have a much larger space to work with (although tilling the soil is pretty back-breaking!).  I'm dreaming of lettuce (if I can keep the slugs away!), beets (I try them every year and they've only made it once), carrots (another favorite from the garden that I just can't get to grow!), and even potatoes!  That's in addition to the tomatoes, beans, pumpkins, and zucchini that I grow every year.  It's easy to dream now; it's even easy to actually plant all these things.  The difficulty will come when the weather turns hot, and I've got to keep everything alive!

the Joy:  As I said above, there's joy in the small stuff too.  There's joy in just spending time with my daughter, watching her grow, and observing her imagination at work.  There's joy in ripping out weeds and anticipating seeds sprouting and producing fruit (or veggies!).

Joy to you!
Barbara

Busy Kitchen

Yesterday Judith's friend came to play again, so I took the opportunity to spend some time in the kitchen.  (It's wonderful to have Judith entertained by someone else, even if they do require mediation with regularity.)  As I was cooking, it occurred to me that I haven't yet blogged about any food!  That's pretty bizarre, considering that I used to have a separate blog just for baking.  It seems that after the insanity of December (I was baking nonstop for four weeks!), I haven't really been focusing on baking, although I could have written about the Chocolate Cream Tart with Pecan Shortbread Crust I made for Lance's uncle's birthday, and my adventures with Spaghetti Carbonara for the same dinner. 

At any rate, here's what I was working on yesterday (at one point four of these were going simultaneously!):

• homemade greek style yogurt - I started making this more than a year ago when I started finding ways to get extra protein.  The store bought stuff is yummy, but so expensive, so I googled alternatives.  This website got me started, and I've improvised my own methods to compensate for the equipment I don't have.  It's especially wonderful because Judith loves it (she thinks it's ice cream) and I make a batch for Lance and her that I sweeten with local OV honey.
• no bake "cookie" balls - Pinterest got me turned on to these!  They're pretty close to "raw" (if only I could bring myself to leave out the chocolate chips, they would be!), and with the flaxseed in them, they're pretty healthy for my little girl, especially because I sub unsweetened coconut for the coconut flakes.  And with local honey (raw) in them, they help with seasonal allergies too!
• butternut squash, red lentil, and garbanzo stew in the crock pot - Pinterest again.  It won't surprise anyone who knows me that I made this without all the called for spice.  (Well, not all - I did add the garlic, and some bouquet garni.)  It was a little overly sweet that way, but considering that I'm juststarting to tolerate butternut squash (it's always too sweet for me), it was pretty good.  (And it felt fantastic to be able to throw all the detritus in my composter instead of in the trash!)
• cooking the garbanzos for above stew, and baking the leftover squash to freeze for later - I'm kind of a slow food junky.
• whole wheat biscuits - I googled "whole wheat biscuits" because I wanted to try some with the stew.  And I was totally appalled by how many "whole wheat" recipes were actually half whole wheat.  In fact, this one was the only one I found that was totally whole wheat.  They were yummy!

In the future, I intend to do a weekly "This Week in the Kitchen" kind of entry, unless I bake something totally fantastic that I simply have to blog about right away.  :-)

The Joy:  It's really not hard for me to find joy in the kitchen.  I'm so wired to image my Creator by creating in this way.  Every time I bake it's worship - and my body and soul rejoice!  I'm also finding joy in following my goal to eat healthier.

Joy to you!
Barbara

Playdate Crafts

Judith's good friend Kirsten came over for a playdate this afternoon.  They play pretty well together for the most part (they are 3 1/2, after all!), but, just in case, I had a couple contingency activities for them.  I decided to have them do the activities just to give them a little break from the "stress" of constant toy sharing.

No-Mess Finger Painting
A friend of mine blogged this craft yesterday (http://thosecraftycomers.blogspot.com/), and I thought it looked like something Judith might enjoy. 

Put blobs of paint in a ziplock bag.  Squeeze the air out of the bag.  Tape the bag to the window (or, presumably, any flat surface).  "Draw" on the outside of the bag with your fingers - spreading the paint around and making designs.

finger painting

I think Judith enjoyed it - but it wasn't Kirsten's cup of tea, and peer pressure made Judith abandon it before she might have otherwise.  She did go back to it this evening (I'd left it hanging on the window), and she was having fun drawing letters and making dots. 

Before I do it again, I think I'll purchase additional paints.  It might have been a little more exciting if there were more than four colors.

Fishing by Magnet
Found this craft on Pinterest (golly, I love that site!) (http://pinterest.com/pin/205758276695263330/), and decided to put it together on the spur of the moment when I knew Kirsten was coming over.  I gathered some paint sample cards (lots of bright colors!), cut fish shapes from them, and clipped a paper clip to the top of each fish.  I cut some short sticks from pile of tree trimmings that's out in the back yard, and we tied a piece of yarn to the end of each stick and taped a little magnet onto the string.  This activity was hit.  The girls had a wonderful time fishing off "the bridge" (over the foot of my bed) and proclaiming in loud voices the color of the fish they had just caught.  I gave them a little bucket to put their "caught" fish in.  When they were all gathered, the girls could just "toss them back to the sea" and start over.  And at the end of our playdate, Kirsten could take home her pole and some of the fish.  (Of course then we had to make Daddy a pole so Judith has someone to fish with :-).

"Hey look - fish!"

 

 

Making a fishing pole

Fishing off the bridge

The Joy
It's wonderful to watch (and listen to) the girls play together.  They're learning, little by little, what it means to have conversation, to play together, and to share the things they want.  I remember their laughter and their arguments - their constant joy in being together, and it lifts my heart.  We, as humans, are created so much in need of that kinship with each other.  I'm learning that I need to plan grown-up "playdates" to fill that need in my own heart.

Joy to you!
Barbara

A New Name

Since I re-started my blog, I've been ruminating about a new title for it.  (I did change it (to montyfordsgirls) when I combined them, but only as a place-holder for the final result of my ponderings.)  And this morning, as I lay awake wishing I wasn't awake, I found the title I wanted. 

As part of my resolution to study my Bible, I have recently decided to study the book of James with a friend.  And yesterday, as I read through the five chapters to start with an overview, I was struck by  James 1:2-4, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (ESV)  And in today's early morning hours, as I was thinking about what title I could come up with that would encompass all of my life - all the things I blog about and who I want to be - it occurred to me, that that's what I really want: to be joyful in all circumstances, and to be steadfast in my faith. The NIV, which is the version I grew up memorizing, translates verse 2, "consider it pure joy..." and I like the ring of that!

Joy has further significance for me, because it's my middle name (no really, it is).  And I want very much to live up to it.  I don't want to go through life finding fault with my circumstances, myself, or the people around me.  I want instead to shine with the Joy of steadfast faith, seeing all of life - the trials and the blessings; the mundane and the extraordinary - as the process that brings me into greater alignment with who God calls me to be.

I hope that my new blog title will channel my focus for this blog.  I will still blog about whatever's going on - Judith, parenting, cooking, baking, crocheting, crafting, and more - but it's my intention to "wrap up" every entry with "The Joy" - the way(s) in which I can find Joy for that day.  (I imagine that some days the joy may be difficult to find, while some days it'll be self-evident.)

And I've found my sign-off, which I'm borrowing from a friend:

Joy to you!
Barbara

Calming Jar

Yesterday morning we did a craft!  It’s something that I found on Pinterest (http://chasingthefirefly.wordpress.com/2011/09/13/free-your-mind/), and it ties in nicely with the thinking I’ve been doing about best discipline methods.  (Lance and I have been reading Grace Based Parenting, by Tim Kimmel, so I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how I can incorporate grace into everything, especially discipline.)  And I’ve been thinking about how to teach Judith do deal with her anger (tantrum!) without throwing things or yelling.  This project gives her something concrete to focus on during a “time out”, and I think watching it is pretty soothing.  We’ll see how it goes.  Haven’t actually had the opportunity to try it out yet.

At any rate, here’s what we did:

Materials:

One empty jar (if I do this again, I will use an empty two-liter instead.  Those aren’t breakable!)

Glue (the original directions call for glitter glue – but that’s not something I use, so I didn’t have it on hand...see problems that this caused below!)

Glitter (in hindsight, I’d get the tiny glitter instead of the regular size that I got.  The higher price would have been worth the slower sinking-time.

HOT tap water - the hottest your tap will produce, but not boiling

Food coloring

Stickers  - we wanted to decorate the outside of our jar.

Materials assembled, crafter ready.

 If desired, decorate the outside of your jar with stickers (or paint, or whatever).  Just leave enough "clear" space that you'll be able to watch the contents of the jar.

we decorated our jar with Mama's favorite butterfly stickers.

 Add the glue, water, food coloring, and glitter (order doesn't matter).

adding the glue

adding the food coloring (pink, of course!)

At this point, I realized that I’d made a huge mistake in thinking I could substitute “regular” glue for glitter glue – because my regular glue was, in fact, washable.  And it pretty much dissolved in the water without thickening it at all (note the bubbles at the top of the jar!).  This is a problem because the glitter, instead of floating slowly, gracefully, calmingly down to the bottom, just drops.  So I did a quick mental review of what was in my cupboard, and started adding corn syrup, because I have it on hand.  And it worked pretty well – after a LOT was added!  I think the result is at least one-quarter corn syrup.

the final product

One more note:  as mentioned in the materials list, a light plastic bottle (such as an empty 2-liter) would much lighter, and not breakable, and therefore easier for Judith to shake up by herself.  But the empty peanut butter jar is what I had.  It just means I have to shake it up for her.

"I just love it!"

 As I mentioned above, we haven't had a temper tantrum or meltdown to try this out with.  But even if it doesn't succeed in calming Judith, we had a fun time and she'll enjoy shaking it up from time to time anyway.  And maybe I can use it myself to calm down before disciplining!

TTFN,

Barbara

Potty Training

In those years that I longed for a child, I never considered potty training.  "Had I know then what I know now...."  I still love my daughter beyond words, and she is still a phenomenal, miraculous blessing; but potty training has thoroughly tested everything I "knew" about her and about myself.  I've been hesitating in writing this blog entry because I've been waiting for a happy ending.  It's not really here yet, but I'm going to post anyway.  I hope to be able to provide a happy ending update soon!  Here's a timeline/summary of our continuing journey.

November 2010
While a friend was babysitting, Judith announced that instead of having her diaper changed, she wanted to go on the potty (and she went!).  We'd been keeping the potty chair in our bathroom just to get her used to it.  She'd been excited to sit on it (fully clothed!) whenever I was going, but she'd never shown any interest in actually using it.  I'd been reading through signs of readiness and evaluating whether Judith might be ready.  One of the main signs of readiness is uncomfortableness with being wet, and asking to have pants changed - something Judith had NEVER done.  And because she didn't seem ready, I was anticipating starting sometime in late spring 2011.  But when she was so excited to go for our friend, I took it as a sign to begin. (Oh, how sad I am, remembering that optimistic me!)  From the public library, I checked out the book "Toilet Training in Less than A Day," which my mom had recommended (and had used with success to train my sisters).  I read it, made copious notes, assembled supplies, picked a day, and started.  And Judith enjoyed practicing - especially when she got treats and "special juice" (not watered down!) in large amounts.  And she loved running from different parts of the house to the potty chair (the method suggests practicing running to the chair 10x for every accident); unfortunately, she considered running to the chair to be a reward, and it didn't motivate her to run when she actually needed to go ("if I have an accident, I get to run lots!" seemed to be her way of thinking).  She seemed to be recognizing when she needed to go, and I was hopeful that it wouldn't be very long before she was "trained".

Looking back, I can see that there were several parts of the method that really didn't fit with Judith's personality, and those should have been warning signs of her not-readiness, and her need for a different type of training.  For example, the method emphasizes the child doing everything for herself, from pulling on her panties to getting the toilet paper and emptying the potty chair into the toilet.  But Judith didn't (and still doesn't) want to do those things herself.  She wanted to have me help her - and I was sticking to "the plan" and not helping.  Rebellion came pretty quickly.  She started saying things like "no, I'm not going on the potty.  We can just clean it up."  (She stopped being allowed to clean up puddles herself because she treated that as a reward too.)  But we stuck to it, and by the end of the month she would go when asked, and even had some dry days.  One bright spot was that she did phenomenally well anytime we were outside the house.  All of her accidents were confined to our home - and it was a relief to be out of the house because I knew she'd be dry. 
I thought we were close to the end.


December 2010
My parents came to visit.  My mom was here for three weeks, and my dad was here with her for the final  week   Judith did OK going potty for Grandma, and again, I thought we were over the hump and it was all downhill.  But we went away to a condo for part of the final week, and Judith regressed completely.  It started with a #2 accident in a restaurant, and deteriorated to four accidents in an hour in the condo.  I broke down and bought some pull ups - and when we got home I put her back in diapers.  We'd try again later. 

I vividly remember the relief of putting her back in diapers.  Yes, it had been wonderful for a month to not have to spend money on diapers, but that was about the only benefit we were experiencing.  Judith wasn't happy; she was failing constantly to meet my expectations, and she knew it.  And I wasn't happy - I saw myself as a complete failure as mother, and I was sure that she could do it if she could just want to try.  And to step back and say "this isn't working" was a huge burden off both of us.

August 2011 - present
Although I had originally intended to start potty training again in late spring with the onset of warmer weather, the timing was somehow never right.  And when I looked ahead to our planned August visit to Michigan, I saw nothing but nightmare if we were only partially through with potty-training while we were there.  Diapers would be so much easier.  So I waited.  And at Judith's 3-year check up, the doctor asked her if she was going on the potty.  When we said no, he said, in a shocked voice "Judith!  You should be going on the potty like a big girl!"  (On a side note:  how completely unfair of the doctor, both to me and to Judith, to express such vehemence without even asking for reasons or explanation!)  Predictably, when we got home, Judith said she wanted to wear panties like a big girl.  We talked about how she would then need to use the potty like a big girl and keep her panties dry.  And we transitioned (without any supplies on hand for incentives!  without any planning on my part!).  Since then, she hasn't worn a diaper once (except for the first two weeks at night).

But I wouldn't say she's trained yet!  We started a "potty progress chart" where she gets a flower on the day if she's dry all day.  And looking at it shows how difficult it's been.  There are weeks of flowers followed by blank weeks, and a few lonely days scattered here and there.  (She is dry most nights - she's had maybe four or five bed-wettings total since August.)

The most difficult part is figuring out how to motivate her to want to go.  Saying "big girls have dry pants" isn't enough.  Reading books about big kids going on the potty or providing examples of all her friends isn't enough.  Providing a treat every time she goes (or every time she goes with dry pants) isn't enough.  In the beginning of November, we made candy turkeys at MOPS - and there are several days in a row of success, because she was also getting a piece of the turkey every time she said "mama, I have to go potty" and then went.  But as soon as the turkeys were gone, the motivation dried up.  She shows absolutely no inclination to interrupt what she's doing and go, even when she's assured that whatever it is will be there when she gets back.  Even now, five months later it is extremely rare that she goes before her pants are wet, instead of after she's started.  I don't know whether she has trouble recognizing the urge, or whether she has trouble leaving what she's interested in.  Either way, she's not motivated to learn.

Until our recent bout with stomach flu, I'd have said that she was doing pretty well with #2.  She didn't like to go - and she'd usually hold it for several days before going - but she rarely had #2 accidents.  And now she's had a #2 accident every day for the last five days (sometimes several times in one day).  In theory I accept that this is because her body completely failed on her when she had the stomach flu - and it's still not entirely back to normal.  But because she doesn't say anything when she does have an accident, I'm beyond frustrated - and she has horrendous diaper rash.  We're working on having her at least tell us!


So there it is - my abject failure as a mother.  Forget "less than a day" - in five months I have still not potty trained my child.  I still struggle to find ways to motivate her to want to go on her own, without a timer set or an "order" from me.  I hesitate to ask someone to babysit or to let her go on a playdate or to take her to the park, all because I am so embarrassed by how untrained she is.  I have nightmare visions of her going off to college still unable to get to the toilet before her pants are wet.  (OK, that last part is an exaggeration - I have trouble seeing any light at the end of the tunnel, though.)  I cringe when I hear other mothers talk about their potty training success, remembering past "success stories" that I shared which were immediately followed by regression.  I pray daily for patience and grace as we slowly learn this essential life skill.

(Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated)
Barbara